Such a helper, he is.

I swear, the leprechauns are in my house.

Perhaps we're feelin' a wee bit 'o the green, or maybe I'm just losing it, but lately...I've been losing it. Well, things, really. A lot. And it scares me.

Yesterday, the medication that I disperse daily disappeared. Cannot find it anywhere. I know I keep it out of reach of my little people, so I cannot blame it on them.

Today, the cordless phone was missing. I had put it down when grabbing dirty laundry and never would have looked for it there until putting away clean laundry nearly twelve hours later, but there it was. After I had searched everywhere for it. Ha ha.

Tonight, I couldn't find my camera. Anywhere. Searched through my purse multiple times. Over and over. Could NOT find it. Retraced my steps, called the places where I thought I might have lost it. Freaked.

"You guys! Did anyone see my camera??? You didn't touch it, did you?"

Innocent little eyes peer up at me, slightly scared by the crazy lady running around the house opening the same drawers over and over again.

"I know, Mommy", Max suggests with true sincerity and eternal optimism, "for Christmas, I can get a search and rescue helicopter and then we can look for all the lost things."

And he gestures, in kind of a reassuring way, like "There, there Mommy, don't go crazy on me."

Thanks, buddy. I love your optimism and total lack of sense of time. Now go to sleep, even if it is not dark outside.

(As an aside, I blame everything that is wrong in my life on George W. Bush. Seriously. It's kind of a running joke in our house, if something is wrong, I just say it's W's fault and we all now what I'm talking about. Door got left open, it's W's fault. Dishwasher broke, W's fault. Perhaps I take a little levity on the subject because to me, the true gravity of the past eight years is too painful for me to contemplate, let alone debate, so I have to laugh. Insert nervous laughter here.)

All joking aside, Mr. President, you're not fooling ANYONE with this quote unquote energy saving Daylight Savings Time heist. Yeah yeah yeah, I know it's a good thing to have it lighter later, but DUDE! I just got my kid back on the sleeping track. Why you gotta do this to me??? If that kid wakes up at five a.m. again, you KNOW who I'm going to blame. You and your energy cronies who know the real truth..DST probably sucks up more energy than it saves.

I think it would make a great tv political ad... "It's five a.m. and your child is awake. Who do you want answering the phone?"

George W. Freakin' Bush --- so I can blame all my sleep ailments on him --- that's who!!!!

Oh, and my camera was right next to the cordless phone that I found when putting away the laundry. I was talking on the phone this morning when I unplugged my camera to move it to a safe place where the kids wouldn't touch it and then I hung up the phone and put away the pjs and set the stuff down and then there was a poop to wipe so I dashed into the bathroom, and then a head got bonked, so I went to check on that, and where's my coffee cup???.... It's ALL George Bush's fault.

I swear.